And The Worst Father Of The Year Award Goes To
by Lieutenant Myst
Summary: As Natsu watches Zeref tell Larcade he was never his son, Natsu immediately wants to attack Zeref for what he said. Turns out, he isn't the only one mad at Zeref, and Zeref will soon be getting an earful from a very, very angry person. Warning: Should not be taken seriously, is just for laughs and giggles.


**Nothing much to say...except I want to *bleep* slap Zeref in the face for making Larcade cry after watching him explain to Larcade he wasn't actually his son and was instead a failed experiment. Like, seriously dude, ouch. You suck at parenting Zeref and it's no wonder Mavis hates you.**

**Please follow, favorite and review when you are done reading. God Bless You All!**

**I do not own Fairy Tail, it belongs to Hiro Mashima.**

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Natsu just stood there, frozen at the scene in front of him. The sounds of Larcade's painful cries and the look on Zeref's face terrified the fire mage, and made him feel sorry for Larcade. Even though Natsu knew Igneel wasn't his real father, he still saw him as his actual one, and what Zeref told Larcade was just plain wrong.

Before Natsu could say anything, he heard a noise coming from behind him. Turning his head, he saw something that resembled a long oval mirror that was different shades of blue swirling around each other. "Myst, I don't think this is a good idea," Natsu heard a voice saw from the magical mirror (it was what he was calling it, okay? Don't judge him.), catching Zeref's and Larcade's attention. "Why don't you just breathe and let it slide?"

"Shut up Shorty, and no, I can't let this slide. I need to prove to Zeref that he's a *bleep* father and he needs to change before I whoop his *bleep*." A female voice said angrily, as two figures emerged from the portal. One was a bored looking...he, she? Natsu couldn't tell based on the clothing they were wearing, which consisted of a black hoodie pulled over their head and oversized pants that were held together by a belt. The person was considerably short, most likely near five feet at the most. While the girl was wearing a blue middle sleeved shirt and white shorts with black sandals, towering over the short person next to them with a angry face directed at Zeref.

"Zeref? Do you know what you've done?" The girl growled, while the person who accompanied them just whistled and sat down on one of the benches with a bored expression on their face.

Zeref looked, stunned at the woman's bluntness, before composing himself. "And what have I done that would make a mere mortal get angry at me? Clearly you have no idea how power-" He said before he was interrupted by the girl rushing over and punching Zeref straight in the face.

"Angry, oh, I'm *bleep* mad at you Zeref," The girl said, before blinking in confusion, turning to look at hoodie person. "Shorty! Why are my swear words being censored?!"

"You rated this story K Myst!" Shorty yelled back boredly. "That, and your too scared to write a story with curse words that don't include heck, hell, and dang."

"Shut up!" Myst yelled back, embarrassed before turning to look at Zeref. "And you! You have no idea what you have caused my heart to grow through you heartless *bleep*!"

Natsu watched as his brother was started to cower in front of this screaming woman who would say bleep at random moments when she attacked Zeref with her words.

"Don't worry," Shorty told Natsu, as they were suddenly chewing on candy. "She's on her time of the month, soon she'll start crying."

"-and then!" Myst exclaimed, starting to tear up. "You decided to ruin two of my favorite ships, you piece of *bleep*! Why did you have to go and do that too me?!"

"...wait what's a ship?" Natsu asked Shorty, who was now slurping some drink through a straw.

"Oh, who she wants to wind up together, romantically," Shorty answered with a dismissive wave. "Now shush, I haven't seen Zeref look this flustered. I need to get this on tape."

"I mean, you just had to ruin my most favorite ship by killing of Larcade, didn't you?!" Myst yelled, waving a hand in the air. "I wanted him and Cana to wind up together, dang it!"

"Wait, she ships him and Cana?!" Natsu exclaimed, staring at Shorty for an explanation. "Oh yeah, blame it on Keiid for getting her into that ship," Shorty said without missing a beat. "But trust me, this little rant of hers will last for a while."

"Buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut...what about him?" Natsu asked, pointing at Larcade who was lying still on floor, staring at Myst with wide eyes as she yelled at Zeref.

"Oh, this is the fanfiction world, she's keeping him alive just by being here. I just came along for the fun. Now sit back and watch the show Natsu, I want to see how good she got with arguing." Shorty said, relaxing against the wood table behind them, Natsu sitting right next to them.

Natsu sat there for the next six hours, watching his brother get talked down by a woman ranting about how he was a terrible father and boyfriend at that.

This was surprisingly more exciting then watching Erza beat up Gray in his opinion.

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_Extra: _

"And of course, you decide to tear Mavis's hearts to shreds by leaving her alone and wanting to kill her! Not to mention yours and Mavis's son, who is August, I might add; is currently fighting against Gildarts! You worse than my dad! And trust me, that's not a compliment if I'm saying it."

"Wait, my son is August?"

"..."

"I'm going to *bleep strangle you right now Zeref, for not knowing your own _son _has been fighting alongside you this whole time."

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**So there you have it! My own little rant against Zeref for being a terrible dad! I feel a lot better actually after having written that. God Bless You all and please review!**

**-Lieutenant Myst**


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